


the days are getting shorter and at night it's hard to sleep

by babiee



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Dadza, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Good Older Sibling Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Good Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Happy Ending, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, No Romance, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Panic Attacks, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Platonic Relationships, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, SBI Family Dynamic, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc Fluff, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Supportive Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Supportive Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Supportive Wilbur Soot, Therapy, no romantic relationships, panic attacks mentioned, sbi as family, they are family your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:13:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babiee/pseuds/babiee
Summary: tommy doesn't want to keep going everyday like this. it's not fun and it just adds to the exhaustion that he already feels on the daily. he just wants a break, he just wants a nap.he doesn't want his family to notice that he's all fucked up, either, but they do. how couldn't they?tldr; tommy is depressed and sbi is here for him
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 12
Kudos: 213





	the days are getting shorter and at night it's hard to sleep

Tommy woke up. He woke up and he decided he didn't want to be awake. He wanted to roll over and go back to sleep and he definitely did not want to face the world today. He needed a break. Tommy didn't get to choose these things though. He had to be a normal kid, slap a smile on his face and walk downstairs with messy hair and a witty comment, then eat his breakfast like normal.

The problem was, he didn't feel like any other kid. He didn't feel like chatting with his family while they ate dinner, he didn't feel like leaving his room, he didn't feel like going to school or getting a shower. It was all too much and it seemed like if he didn't do it all at once, he wouldn't be able to do any of it. So, he let it all pile up. He sat in his room for hours everyday and when he came out he smiled and joked with his family. He had playful spats with Wilbur and he grinned at Phil when the man told them to cut it out. He joked about Techno's monotone reactions and he tried to make the happy emotion meet his eyes. He'd been told way too many times lately that his eyes looked dead.

Today, though, he just especially felt like he couldn't do it. He didn't want to be awake at all. He wasn't allowed to go back to sleep, though. He knew that. It was already noon anyways, if he didn't get up soon Phil would be in to wake him, joking about teenage boys getting no sleep and ruffling his hair. That pissed him off. Not that Phil was kind to him, but that he had such a nice family and he couldn't even be appreciative enough to drag his ass out of bed or brush his teeth. He felt disgusted, but still couldn't seem to do anything about it. It was too hard.

Regardless of his mental exhaustion, however, he still made his way down the stairs, hair sticking up on his head and eyes puffy with the tears that had lulled him to sleep the previous goodnight, "Good morning," He rasped upon seeing everyone sat in the kitchen, looking much more put together than he currently was.

They all returned the greeting, looking up at him and smiling. The gesture was nice, but he quickly felt insecure under all the eyes staring at him, and he wondered if he looked like the mess he truly was. He wondered if they were reading him, if any second someone was gonna mention that he looked like shit. It was only moments later that their gazes averted, though, and he scooted his way through the kitchen to make himself a bowl of cereal. Taking his bowl, he sat a bit away from his family, not having the energy to pretend to be happy and hyper this early in the morning. He scooped cereal into his mouth absentmindedly, too lost in thought to realize the bowl was gone and that his family had gathered in the room, and that all of their eyes seemed glued to him.

"What is it guys? I got a milk mustache or something?" He laughed, trying to break the odd tension that had gathered in the room, "Seriously, though, guys, why are you looking at me like that? It's kinda creepy. . ." He laughed, but it lacked the emotion he was aiming for.

"Did someone hurt you, Tommy?" Phil spoke hesitantly, and Tommy was suddenly more confused than ever. He'd never hurt himself before. . . Sure, he was sad. . . and sometimes he got so scared he couldn't breathe, but, he'd never done anything like that.

"Phil?" He spoke, voice shaking and confused, and he paused to wonder why he was already on the verge of tears, "No. What? No. What are you talking about man? You guys are seriously starting to freak me out," He huffed a breath, trying to ignore the tightening feeling that consumed his chest.

"Dude, your eyes are like, all bruised and shit. Tom, if someone is messing with you, you know you can talk to us right? Did someone punch you?" Wilbur spoke next, voice full of concern as he moved closer to the youngest, crouching to look at his eyes. Had Tommy really tried to block out the lights around him so badly last night that he'd bruised his eyes from it? He just wanted some sleep, and everything was so overwhelming.

He was ready to come up with something to defend himself without telling his family that his surroundings were so overwhelming that he simply bruised his own eyes, but Techno spoke before he could get the chance, "Tommy. I will deal with it if there is somethin' going on. Unless you don't feel comfortable with me uh, doin' that, but, we're, y'know, here for you and stuff." Techno assured the best he could, shooting Tommy a wary smile.

"Guys, no one is hurting me," Tommy paused at the thickness in his throat, trying hard to figure out why he was on the verge of tears. He felt his breathing stutter at the mere thought of crying in front of his family, so he took a moment to regain himself, "They must be dark circles or something, man, I don't know." He muttered, not sounding sure of his own excuse, especially with the way he stumbled over his words, ready to get to his room and cry.

They all raised an eyebrow at that, knowing dark circles simply just didn't work that way. Even Tommy couldn't help but curse himself internally, knowing his excuse was shit. "Look, Tommy, you don't have to talk to us, but we just care about you, bud. We are all here whenever you are ready, okay?" Phil smiled, voice full of nothing but genuine care, and that's when Tommy broke. One tear rolled down slowly, and even though he continued to try and hold in the following sobs, he just couldn't. 

"Thank you, guys, but I promise it's not someone hurting me," He chuckled dryly through his tears, trying to slow his breathing enough to speak, even if his body wanted to sob hard and get it all out. 

His family waited quietly and expectantly, all of them having moved closer to physically comfort him. He took the opportunity to just cry for a moment, needing to get the tears out of him, because even if it sucked, it did help to just cry when you needed to. 

"I don't know how to, um, word this really, but I've just been really tired lately. I, uh, sometimes I just can't really bring myself to do most things and, like, showering and stuff even can get really hard. I feel really gross and just, I know I'm disappointing you guys and I feel terrible, but it's like, I can't fix it. I don't know what's wrong with me and I can't fix it and I'm scared that I'm gonna die in my bed, all disgusting because I can't pry myself out of it! I don't know if I have some disease or something, but. . . I just, it sucks, y'know?" He chuckled nervously, all of what he said catching up to him as he rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, diverting his gaze.

They sat in silence for a moment, all of them taking a moment to process the fact Tommy had been suffering in silence for who knows how long, but Wilbur was the first to break it, "Tommy, bud, that's- you don't have a disease. You're depressed."

Tommy's eyes blew wide at that. He didn't have depression. People with depression wanted to die. People with depression had trauma and bad lives and went to the mental hospital. Tommy didn't do any of that. Tommy just felt tired sometimes, right? 

"Wilbur, I don't think it's like that," He laughed, wondering if he even believed the words coming from his mouth, "I, uh, I just feel tired sometimes, man, y'know? I mean, lately I've kinda felt really overwhelmed and everything is just too much and I constantly feel like I'm gonna snap but. . . Holy shit, I'm rambling, but I'm fine, is what I'm trying to say." He stared at the ground after he realized how much he'd just revealed, embarrassed out of his mind.

"Tommy, it's okay to admit you need help, man. I, uh, y'know, lots of people experience depression. We, uh, we're here for you, man, always." Techno spoke slowly, voice mumbly and unsure, comfort never being his strong suit. Tommy appreciated his words none-the-less. 

Wilbur piped up right after, rushing words of comfort out, "Tommy! You know when I used to spend lots of time in my room and I stopped going out to the shops and such with you? Yeah, man, I was going through shit. I feel a lot better now, because I got help from a therapist. There's not anything wrong with needing some help, big man." Wilbur reassured, his words filling Tommy with immense release, the pressure in his chest automatically easing up.

Phil spoke last, but his words meant the most to Tommy, "Toms, you're my son, yeah? I love your company and you're a great kid. Nobody here wants you to have to spend everyday suffering, kiddo. We can get you help, no matter what you end up preferring. Some people like meds, some therapy, some a combination of both. There's different types of therapy too and we can research with you! We will always be here to help, Toms. We're family," He smiled, and Tommy could see how proud his father was of him, even if his brain wanted to deny it.

"Thank you guys, so much," Was all he could force out, his throat closing up again.

This time, though, the tears were out of happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> this is sooooo sloppy and not that good but i just wanted to write something so hopefully someone out there likes it


End file.
